I don't, often, bloody my sleeves but it's Valentine's Day and I wanted to say I love you to my guy. He's my world and the reason I can write. This Valentine's Day card is for my DW.
I recently visited relatives and I remember them saying -- you look awesome, you're over forty but you don't have any wrinkles!
While I was happy that I looked beautiful, I never expect to have such a flawless complexion at this age. At a young age, I knew that beauty was fleeting, gravity reigns and scars are proof of a life lived.
When I told DW (my significant other) what my relatives said he saw through my perplexed heart and told me: Just because you don't have wrinkles doesn't mean you don't have a happy life or that you don't laugh.
He should know, he makes me laugh the most. His words soothed my worrying mind.
But this is proof of a lie going around.
The lie is: Nobody knows anything about anyone.
DW proved that saying is a lie. He knew what my concern was before I could utter a word about it. He tore apart the worry about not having laugh lines. It's so silly. I was happy I was beautiful to my family, but concerned I'd paid a horrible price for that beauty. I'd never trade a flawless face for laughter. The smiles given to me from my family, friends and most of all my DW! I love you guys.
But I also should have known the answer. Because he makes me laugh everyday. So I'll keep laughing...because maybe dermatologists of the past were wrong about skin. Maybe laughing a lot is what makes my skin wrinkle free. But really who cares! I have a DW telling me I'm beautiful. I hope you do too.
Ladies claim, "It's the small things that a guy does that makes me love him." But what does that really mean? What small things?
In the beginning, romance was an undefined mystery to me. Then I turned sixteen. At that age, it was all about the sex. The I turned twenty-eight--and it was all about the good sex. At that time I had a hot boyfriend that was really good in bed too. But he was also sensitive and I wasn't picking up on "the small things" he did for me. It made him feel insignificant enough to leave.
Then I found DW. His "small things" were large enough for me to take notice. That and every time he did something he demanded my acknowledgement. He was like a five year old shoving a picture at me saying "look what I made you" and climbing in my lap. You can't really ignore a forty year old climbing in your lap. At least I can't. Anyway...I couldn't ignore his "little things" because they were actually HUGE for me. Someone who brings me water and food saying "eat", before I pass out from having too much fun working, has my attention.
DW is different (from all the others guys' "little things") because he found things to do that were huge in my mind yet small in effort. He's my chef, sleep monitor, water boy, social media ninja, computer geek, Star Wars updater, technical adviser, spot checker, sounding board and well...he's my Sebastian from Black Butler. Yep, that's my guy below. Yes, he tosses cutlery like a boss too. 'nuff said.
But it was not what he did...it was with the consideration for me that was a big deal. That's when I realized what it felt like to be on the receiving end of "it's the thought that counts" in a relationship.
So I wonder...who else realizes this? When you say "it's the small stuff" are you meaning it's the thought that counts? Or are you thinking it's the consideration for your needs as the small stuff? Is it something else? What do you mean by it's the small things...?
Each relationship is a book. Some are still being written. Some are finished, and some will be revised.
But each story of you and me is co-written. There are some with only one POV and some with many.
Because the book is co-written, you don't always get to choose where the story ends or how it goes. But you can tell your side of the story.
Just be certain to read the part that your partner writes about themselves, about their relationship and about you. Seeing their side can assit in plot holes, editing to the point where the story doesn't make sense any more and character corrections. The story of you and me is about "We..."
I left my hubs to feed the dogs, fish, cats and chicken while I went away for 5 days to a writer’s conference, #RWA14 in fact. This poses the does absence make the heart grow fonder question.
I love my hubs, but it’s nice to be missed and to miss. I can’t say that I missed him so much as I knew he was within my heart. He’s a part of what I do and he’s a huge part of my support structure to let me publish and write. There is no fiscal way for me to do what I do without him. I also need his emotional support, his social support and acceptance.
There is no bigger fan that doesn’t read my books such as my hubs. Yep, he’s just not that into romance, or erotica, but he sure as hell supports me and what I do. He loves having a writer girl!
Yes, he did miss me and I missed him, however, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder as much as making us realize why we love each other. We don't "complete" each other, we want to see each other succeed. We want what's best for the other. When I go or he goes to conventions we understand this is something that is good for the other. It doesn't mean we don't miss each other, it means we take heart in knowing this "alone" time we have is for the enrichment of each other. We get a chance to be with the person that looks at us from the mirror. To me that's the most important relationship I'll ever have and I'll take good care of that one for the rest of my life. But it's good to miss and remember the little things my hubs does for me.
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