I've been thrown several life vests. I see how I need to change the story. My goal now is the write the first draft of Pyromage and work on edits for Seducing Sensei. Writing and editing.
On another note, I'm working towards the Seducing Sensei book trailer. So while I read through all my "life-vests" here's another excerpt from Seducing Sensei that may or may not make the final cut (but probably will).
Being this close to Kai brought out all the bad memories, the pain, the trip to the hospital, the heartache, rejection, betrayal. Really, could I call him a friend? I hadn’t in a long time.
“Are you all right?” He said. But there was no concern in his eyes. Only his stubborn poker face.
I regained my balance and tried to push him away as forcefully as I could. He might as well be bolted to the ground. He didn’t even move under my hand. It was me who stumbled away. This time he didn’t motion to grab me. Thankfully I didn’t trip this time.
My body went numb. My mind went blank. My only urge was to run, flee, escape. The body shakes returned in force. There was no Itsuma to hold me this time.
“If this is how you act around me, what is the point?” He said.
“You were supposed to meet me at the grill.” I tried holding myself to put back the pieces of my failing courage.
Kai stepped into my house and shut the front door. “I would rather speak in private. I have something personal to say.”
Fucking Kai—doing whatever he pleased. He hadn’t changed. We stared at each other. Kai looked the same as he had five years ago. His black hair still shined. His short locks waved and shifted whenever he moved like a damn shampoo commercial. Those golden eyes still pierced with a laser focus that seemed to be able to physically push people away. Narrow chin, slight nose and a perfect complexion made him devilishly handsome. Operative word being devilish. But that face wouldn’t fool me anymore.
“So I have a favor,” I said.
“What? No how is life? How have you been? What is new?” Kai folded his arms as if he had a right to be pissed.
“Fuck you, you god damn asshole! You’re five fucking years too late. Go to hell!” I screamed my head off. Wetness trickled down my face. Shit. I couldn’t look at him. Not like this.
“Communication runs both ways.”
My head snapped up. “Communication? Well then you’re the worst listener ever.”
Kai breathed a sigh of relief.
My trembling became a source of energy. The energy enough to punch him in the face. “No you don’t get to come here and find resolution fucktard. You used me like a god damn toilet...” my knees wobbled. I caught myself and leaned against the back of my couch. Oh god, why did I call him?
Flashes of memory came rolling in. Six years of trying to forget him and what he did came rolling back like it was yesterday. Kai staring at me like he’d never seen blood in his whole life. The hospital. The nightmares. Watching him sling an arm around a girl, ignoring me as they passed. The pain of rejection when I needed answers and he wouldn’t return my calls.
His voiced snapped me back into the present. “Granted, I probably deserve your ire—”
“Probably?” I screamed like a woman who’d been cheated on. “Ire? No, you son-bitch, there’s no probably about it. What you did doesn’t just cause ire fuck face.”
“You always did have a flare for theatrics.”