A Dirty Blog!

Goodreads Giveaway Redeeming Senpai

5/12/2022

0 Comments

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Redeeming Senpai

by S.N. McKibben

Giveaway ends May 25, 2022.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

What more need be said?
Get on over to the giveaway!!

0 Comments

A Big Step Towards Redeeming Senpai

4/21/2022

Work in Progress ♣ Handle With Care (August 2018) Update

8/23/2018

Word Count 89K

*This is what the word count is for the book so far. This will be close to a 90K word story.

This will be the last update of Handle with Care.

But that's not a bad thing! In fact, I'm celebrating as I put in the last words down for the second book of the Notice Me Senpai series. What happens from here is... I take a week's rest. Then I go back and edit. At least in theory. I might just blow off the rest, start up on FIRE MAGE, or put down some new ideas on paper that I have in my head and get them outlined.

Things I'm interested in writing:

Superhero Lover (Dark Heart Heroes) - Super Villain duplicates his arch nemesis to gain insight in how to destroy the cities favorite hero only to realize the reason for his animosity (enemies to lovers).

Truckers & Lovers (Dark Heart Heroes) - Two drivers find out they have more in common with each other as their attraction grows (sexual awakening)

The Blood Doll's Kiss (Taboo Fiction) - A college student who feeds vampires for money finds herself the prize in a war between blood sucking families. (Paranormal Romance)

Triad (Taboo Fiction) - After years of relentless battle, a pact between an unyielding mage and the demon that would posses him created Marcus, a personality with his own mind and body who encases them all. But the demon within is not willing to curb its blood lust. After Marcus attempts to restrain the demon and fails, an army is sent to destroy Marcus. Upon their meeting, the king of Benicar presses Marcus for a truce and convinces him to serve under Benicar’s banner in a war between nations. Dispatched to another town Marcus finds Platt, a beautiful farm girl with a mysterious gift he believes could bring true peace between the mage and the demon inside of him. But soon after he settles in the town of Reginhart his neat and tidy world becomes unraveled. (Demon Romance)

Fire Mage (Dark Heart Heroes) - Sent to assassinate a rival guild member, Homura finds his target an unwilling victim. (Dragon Romance)

SG1 Atlantis Fanfic - Don't we all have that one movie/tv show/book that we love and want to play in?

Senpai on Senpai (Notice Me Senpai) - There's a new teacher in town and it's up to Mr. Goyas to help save the man from his own students.

Fantasies of an Airship Pirate (Taboo Fiction) - Inspired by Abney Park’s “Airship Pirate” song… Captain Hasen invades a lone transport airship expecting riches from the hull of the Empire's Zepplin.

What he finds are refugee's. Finding no money and only lost children and two nuns, Hasen is disgusted and ready to cast everyone overboard despite his sudden and unnerving attraction for Katharina, the head nun of a church Hasen no longer believes in.

Katharina in turn offers Hansen money when they get to the church for safe passage. Though he accepts, Hasen learns he wants more than her money. (Dystopian Pirate Romance)

As you can see, I have plenty to keep me busy. The issue is choosing. But maybe you can help me! Let me know in the comments which one/ones sound interesting.

The next update will be yammering about the next thing I've decided to move to. I'm leaning towards finishing the Notice Me Senpai series. I have one more story idea other than Mr. Goyas' story. Then it will be done!

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing to get better for that one series that is really special. Other times I just can't write fast enough.

For those of you still on this ride, I have one last excerpt, then you'll have to buy the book to find out the end. Woot! Word of warning though... "Handle with Care" has been the working title. In the spirit of the series, the name will actually be "Redeeming Senpai".

Because this is the last update with excerpts (and I feel they are too short) I've included two.

Happy reading!!

XOXO ~ Stephy

Excerpt from:

Handle with Care

No part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted without written prior permission from the publisher. This is a work of fiction. All characters, names, events, incidents and places are of the author’s imagination and not to be confused with fact. Any resemblance to living persons or events is merely coincidence.

This is a totally unedited chapter. It may or may not stay the same after final edits and it may or may not remain in the story.

If you find any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors, please let know via the comments!! I may not get to them right away, but I will get to them. Thank you!

If you are totally lost & would like to start at the beginning of (working title) HANDLE WITH CARE, click the button below.

Handle with Care CHAPTER ONE

Below is an excerpt of (working title) HANDLE WITH CARE
Happy reading!

Chapter 18

“Wake up, Liam.” Kai pulled the covers down to my naked waist.

I lost the fog of depression sheltering me from daily life. Unappreciative of his wake-up call, I pulled the comforter over my head. “Go away.”

“You are running late for school.”

“I’m not going.”

“Not an option.”

“I’m sick.”

“That is not the schools fault.”

“Don’t care.”

Kai rummaged around my drawers and tossed a pair of underwear, jeans, a shirt, and socks on my bed. To finish my wardrobe for the day he laid my steel-toed boots on the floor near my head.

I grabbed his wrist. In a flurry of covers I turned away, pulling him with me on the mattress. But I kept rolling until I rested in a blanket burrito with Kai underneath. My clothes were under the layers along with Kai. He was inconvenienced but not stuck. Too bad. I’d have used him as my personal body pillow.

“Liam—”

“I already know what you’re going to say.”

Silence.

I couldn’t see him and couldn’t gauge his reaction. “I’m out, right?”

Kai’s body sunk into the bed. “I think it best if you reside in a different space.”

“Best?”

“Safe.” He rubbed the covers over my back.

It wasn’t going to be safe away from Kai. So far he hovered over me like a helicopter parent. That was what kept Andy away. If I left here, I might as well go back to that scumbag. No way.

“You don’t know what you’re asking me.” Kai was my safe.

“If you stay here, I’ll destroy you and obliterate any honor I have left.”

“That’s not true.”

“Liam…” his voice turned hard.

But I spoke over him. “We’ve been doing fine. All these months and I haven’t stepped out of line. Okay, I had one bad day, but I’m better now.”

Kai’s stroking paused. “I have a small apartment closer to the school.”

“Will you be there?”

“No.”

“Forget it.”

“Then I will leave and you can stay here.”

“I’ll find you. No matter where you go.”

He sputtered a laugh. “What if I decided to go to Aruba?”

“Then I’ll bring my swimsuit.”

His silence crushed my hope. There was something I could say or do. Something that would make him see how much I needed him. How important it was to be with him. He was turkey dinner family to me. Now that I’d had this life, going back would churn me inside out. Like all the skeptics on the street. There was nothing left for someone like me but drugs and STD’s.

Choosing my words instead of spurting what came to mind, I said, “I’ve done things. Things I don’t want to remember. You help me forget. We can do this.”

He sighed and stroked my back. “These past few months have been difficult. Wonderful but challenging. My resolve is tested every day, every moment with you. It starts off as a warmth from your smile, or a touch. Mild craving turns to yearning. Longing turns to passion. Lust convinces me one more stroke of fingers down your arm will hurt nothing.” He caressed my back and I wanted to sink into him forever. “Passion becomes a thirst and I tell myself no. The heart asks why? My body commands me to feed this hunger. Denying myself disintegrates my soul. Honor is the last defense I have, and you are whittling it away.”

“You’re missing one factor.”

He leaned his head back in serious thought. “What would that be?”

“Don’t forget that I have a will too. I won’t let you destroy yourself.” Because that’s what would happen. If we broke down together before I came of age, he would never recover.

Kai let out a long sigh. All this morose talk damped my mood.

“Did you notice?” I wiggled, making it a point of rubbing against his middle. “We’re laying here together and you’re not even hard.”

“You are in pain. Hurting people does not get me off.”

“See, you don’t need to send me away.”

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. “I may not want to hurt you, but I may.”

“You won’t.”

“But I might.”

This conversation could go around and around. “I’ll stay in this bed till I’m eighteen then.”

“That is not acceptable.”

“We’re stronger together.”

“Enough!” He struggled out of the bed. “Pack your personal items. I will take you to the other apartment after work.”

Chapter 20

Kai’s car parked front and center where my last class let out. This was it then. He was going to try and stash me somewhere he wouldn’t see me. Well, that kind of convenience wasn’t in the cards for us. So many years apart didn’t give way for a recess. Another underlying reason to stick to Kai like glue—Andy.

Certain tell-tale signs indicated Kai was more than just a social worker. Where he lived, his car, even his wardrobe didn’t add up to government pay. The story about his dad seemed more about dynasty and less middle-class pride than he let on. If Andy stayed away from me because of my boyfriend’s influence, being separated was a bad idea. Knowing that vulture waited for me spurred panic. But that was my deal, not Kai’s.

I climbed in the Tesla beside an apathetic driver with an aura of frost hanging behind Ray Ban shades.

“Hello,” I gulped down my enthusiasm.

He didn’t respond. Kai drove in the opposite direction of home and The Muffin Cap. I suspected my bag still sat in the trunk. I didn’t have to guess for long before he parked across from a three-story apartment complex to know we’d arrived at the new place.

Kai got out, opened the trunk and pulled out my duffle bag. He approached the security gate without checking to see if I followed. I did, but with reluctance.

“Can we talk about this?”

He answered me with a stony face, eyes masked by his sunglasses and a wave of his hand to enter the courtyard.

The place was out of the 70’s but clean. A pool filter hummed near the deck cleaning a bean shaped water feature. Modest front doors sported peep holes in the center of brass knockers. I passed six-foot palms sprouting in square dirt patches between each residence. This was the kind of place I’d expect a social worker to live. Plain, small and on the cusp needing a remodel.
I followed Kai to the right-side end apartment. Keys jiggled while I stood in the shadow of the three-story building cul-de-sac. The front door scraped open and Kai went in. Curiosity moved me forward.

“Is this your place?” A fully furnished one-bedroom apartment was more than I could wish for not six months ago. I’d dreamed of a place like this before I went to live with Kai.

“This is now your home.” He unwrapped the key from the wire ring.

“Are you staying here?”

He held two keys out to me. “No.”

“Then neither am I.”

Kai dropped his arm. “You cannot stay with me.”

“Why not?”

“You know why.” He turned his face like it hurt to look at me.

“So, you’ve decided all by yourself that we…” I motioned a hand between us. “can’t figure this out?”

“Liam…”

“I made one slip-up, after all this time…”

“Liam…” He raised his hand offering me the keys again. “Take these.”

“Toss me out like trash, but don’t keep me like a shameful mistress.”

Within the span of a blink, Kai pushed me up against the wall, his body pressed against mine, his lips at my ear. His breath tickled the hairs on the back of my neck. “Are you trying to fuck me or fuck me over?”

“Neither.” I jut my knee upward.

He blocked my leg and flipped me around. My arms were locked in his hands. The side of my face kissed the wall—intimately. My lips crinkled like a fish. “I can fight you off if I have to.”

“Is that what your doing?” He ground himself against my backside.

I lifted my leg for another nut strike. No good. He blocked that one too. Kai was not helping me prove my point. All these weeks of training didn’t make me faster than him. Time to appeal to his softer nature.

“You wouldn’t hurt me.” I relaxed while he jacked my arms up my back.

“Yes, I would,” He hissed.

“Help!” I screamed with a crackling voice. Not that I needed help. But I followed Kai’s training. Make space, be loud, don’t be alone, run when you can.

He jumped off me, vibrating with anger. “That will not save you inside my condominium.”

“Kai…”

“No!” He held up his hands as if thwarting off my words. “We will… we will speak on the phone.” He set the pair of keys on the kitchen table and high tailed out of the apartment.

“Kai!” I chased after him but he was already at the gate. Damn he was lighting fast.

As Kai left, Damien stepped out from across the way, stopping me dead in my tracks. “You all right, kid?”

“Yeah.” I sneered, backing up into the new place and shut the door.

Great. That worked, I sneered at myself.

The keys lay on the table tempting me to take Kai up on this living space offer. If I did, the guilt would eat me alive. It was one thing to live with him, help him pay rent, as little as I offered. Fix meals, though he liked to cook for me. Do chores, though he seemed to have a handle on that as well. But I couldn’t afford this place and if I wanted free rent whoring myself out I’d have stayed with Andy. Okay. Harsh. Kai didn’t want sex with me. I got it. What’s the opposite of pimping myself out? But I just couldn’t do it. Nothing in life is free.
I picked up my bag, gave one last look to the keys on the table and locked the door on my way out.

Thank you for reading Handle with Care by S.N.McKibben.
Interested in more?

Click this button below for the Beginning of the NOTICE ME SENPAI SERIES

Notice me senpai

Click this button below for the start of the HANDLE WITH CARE installment

handle with care

Want to catch up with the series?

Start with Seducing Sensei, available now at your favorite retailer!

amazon

all other reatailers

goodreads

Work in Progress ♣ Handle With Care (July 2018) Update

7/26/2018

Completed scene of oh-oh by Cynthia Hlady

Word Count 81K

*This is what the word count is for the book so far. This will be close to a 90K word story.

Holy crap. We are at 80,000 words. I knew this would be a 90K story. Partly because Kai's redemption was no easy feat.

This story has made me go into my past and think about things that had happened to me, face them, in a realistic way, and deal with the skeletons of my history. I feel wiser for and stronger for the predicaments I've placed myself in and grateful. Grateful to come out stronger.

Cryptic, I know. If you care to get the story, email me. I'm not brave enough to spew past happenings out in the open. This story is as close as it will get.

Excerpt from:

Handle with Care

Handle with Care (Chapter One)

Below is an excerpt of (working title) HANDLE WITH CARE
Happy reading!

Chapter 16

The auditorium turned art gallery brought in a crowd of teenagers after school. Two bolts of cream colored fabric hung from the rafters and cascade all the way down to the floor, making a hallway. A hallway where photography student’s pictures hung seemingly suspended in air. It was like a real art gallery display. But with Mr. Caplin directing the show, it shouldn’t be a surprise.

Rippling sheets shielded the dingy stage. The permanent auditorium chairs hid behind elegant drapes. Even the old tile floors were as clean as they’d ever get—for being walked on since the age of plankton. The age also known as Principal Ellis’ high school years, who admired every piece and looked at each name-place-card under the photos. He seemed impressed with each of his students.

But no one seemed more proud than Mr. Caplin. He pointed out details of the submitted art only a photographer would know to anyone that listened. At the moment, that listener was Principal Ellis.

Of everyone here I was one of two people wearing a suit. Kai insisted. I supposed he bought me this three-piece so I could impress college interviewers, but I felt stupid and overdressed. Especially since the only other person wearing formal wear was the principal. The person I wanted here was on his way.

“Oh, my, god. You dressed for a celebration, didn’t you?” Aubrey swankered up to me.

“Ah, no.” I grimaced and narrowed my eyes at her. “I promised to wear this,” I mumbled.

“It’d be a shame to waste this look.” She waved me up and down. “I mean, wow.”

Aubrey was standing in front of me in a cute floral yellow dress, giving me an in to ask her out, but all I saw was the ghost of her brother behind her cracking his knuckles then taking a baseball bat to my soft ball head.

“Thank you.” My cheeks prickled.

“Come with me after. We’ll celebrate.” Aubrey looped her arm around mine. “We can go to this place I know.”

“Ahhh… would your brother drive us there?”

“No way.” She laughed. “It’s called Uber.”

“You have to be eighteen to ride.” Though I’d used Uber in desperate times. Being one of Andy’s favorites meant having a fake I.D. I still had the card to get me into places.

“Not if you know the right people.” She fluttered her eyelashes.

“And I look like the right people?”

“In that suit you do.”

“Am I being used for my good looks?”

Aubrey smiled. She really was good at getting what she wanted. “You just look like the kind of guy that would know how to work around the system.”

I rolled my eyes. It was hard to say no to Aubrey.

“Come-on, it’ll be fun.” She wiggled on my arm.

“What’s your angle?”

Aubrey gave me a wicked smile. “What if my only motive was to show you a good time.”

That in itself scared me. She was always on the move. Doing something, researching something, getting into trouble. I lifted my eyes to the ceiling. “You need money?”

Aubrey’s light-hearted side faded and she shook her head.

This side of her, the serious side, I trusted. “If you need help Aubrey, I’ll give it.”

She bit her lower lip and looked up at me with huge puppy-dog eyes. “Text me when you’re done.”

“Okay.” I nodded, and she let go of my arm and entered the hall of photos.

My cell phone went off in my pocket.

Here. Kai texted.

My stomach lurched. At the main entryway. In suit and tie, stood Kai scanning the room. I waved and jogged up to him.

“Impressive.” Though his voice flat and unimpressed, I knew he was just being Kai, The Wall.

“Mr. Caplin did all the decorations.” I waved to the long hanging sheets.

“Yes, that too is very professional.”

I turned to Kai and was met by his golden stare. Oh. He meant I was impressive. Kai-ese was a nuance language and I was still a grass-hopper.

Overwhelming gratefulness, gratitude, love… things I couldn’t name swelled inside me. I was a bottle being filled with the most amazing soda. Something better than Red Bull. I was hot, cold, clammy, sticky and bursting with energy.

“Come here, I have something to show you.” I waved him to follow me.

He stiffened, eyeing me with suspicion but followed.

I walked towards the hallway of photos but went a little past the entrance. In a smooth, practiced lunge, I snatched his shirt sleeve and pulled him through the curtains and behind the scenes. We collided into a full body hug before crashing into the permanent chairs.

Three months ago, I’d never been able to maneuver someone with a wrist-hold. But I used my tactical dojo training in practical uses. Like getting Kai behind the scenes.

He remained silent, as I knew he would, completing my ninja move to a private world where no one saw us and I could squeeze this happiness into him. We were, technically, in public, but the curtains shielded us from view. It got me hot thinking people were right there. We could hear them yet they didn’t know we were within two feet.

“Thank you. For coming.” I was about to let go when Kai wrapped his arms around me.

He buried his face in my neck as one hand pushed at the back of my head, crushing my nose to his shoulder. His other arm was a band around my waist and brought me closer.

Shit.

This was irresponsible of me. I should have thought of how this would affect him. Just because he seemed to have a leash on himself, didn’t mean it was easy.

He held me, careful not to bring his hips too close. His tight unrelenting grip, his breath heavy and tickling the hairs on my neck. Kai breathed me in through his nose and stuttered out his mouth. His scent mixed with the smell of suit fabric soothed this ache. The clawing animal inside stopped as if reveling in Kai’s embrace. Home. Safe.

“The things I would do…” Kai’s voice was so low his whisper a scarce breath.

Oh crap. This was dangerous. I’d underestimated Kai’s limit of control. I tried to push him away, but his hold was titanium.

“Mr. Akiyama.”

Kai stiffened and let me go.

Principal Ellis stood two seat rows down. His face just as much a wall as Kai’s.

“Principal Ellis.” Kai bowed his head.

“Mr. Kroll.” The principal drew out my name. His jaw tight. Eyes piercing. Principal Ellis reminded me of a beady-eyed falcon with German Shepard traits. He knew when to be where. It was a little freaky, how he swooped in at the right time. His insight appeared super natural.

Worse, Kai and Principal Ellis shared the same type of silent communication. If two walls spoke to each other, this is what it would look like.

“Mr. Kroll,” Principal Ellis said, this time without elongating my name like I’d been caught hugging my boyfriend. “Mr. Akiyama has business with me. In private.”

“Oh, okay.”

Kai grabbed the back seat of a permanent chair and squeezed the wood so hard it moaned under his hand.

Principal Ellis focused his pin-point stare at Kai.

Woah. There was some under lying issues between the two.

“Liam, please wait for me at the entrance.” Kai spoke to me but didn’t look away from The Principal.

“I’ll be waiting.” I slunk out from the fabric shield and into the hall of photos. Through the sheets I heard Kai speak in a low tone.

“Your rudeness is uncalled for.”

“I saw what he did and considering your past…” Principal Ellis’ reply trailed off.

That’s right. Principal Ellis proudly showed me class trophies. He knew Kai and apparently had some sort of history. I wanted to find out more but neither one spoke.

They probably knew I was listening in.

Guess that’s all I would hear.

Thank you for reading Handle with Care by S.N.McKibben.
Interested in more?

Click the button below for the beginning of the NOTICE ME SENPAI SERIES

NOTICE ME SENPAI

Click the button below for the beginning of the HANDLE WITH CARE installment

HANDLE WITH CARE

Want to catch up with the series?

Start with Seducing Sensei, available now at your favorite retailer!

amazon

all other retailers

goodreads

Work in Progress ♣ Handle with Care (June 2018) Update

6/28/2018

Oh-oh by Cynthia Hlady

Word Count 76K
*This is what the word count is for the book so far. This will be close to a 90K word story.

I went on vacation for a week and while I was out, Cynthia sent me another sketch!! This is what she said:

Regarding the sketch, I chose a moment from chapter 4 which I though was really funny and representative of their current situation:

"But it would be so much more fun if you wrestled me to the ground." I covered my mouth with a hand. That was not what I was going to say. My checks burned.

Kai picked up his fork and went back to eating as if my sexual innuendo didn’t mean anything. I promptly went back to my food and shut up.

Want to read Chapter 4? Click the button below:

Handle with Care (Chapter Four)

Kai by Cynthia Hlady

More and more I can see the end to this particular project and I'm getting excited as the first draft comes to a close. Of course I have another excerpt for you below.

In this scene I was trying to show Kai's point of view on sex, his rigid principles and how he feels about Liam. His boyfriend isn't legal yet, even though Kai agreed to "go out" with Liam they both want monogamy but the relationship is sexless.

This pushes Kai, a healthy, young male into certain carnal explosive positions in which he tries to avoid.

Liam has only ever had bad, forceful sex and most of it was when he was "leased out" as a male prostitute. He has urges but they aren't as strong because of his past. This eventually comes to light. For right now, during this scene, Liam─the eighteen year old─is the voice of reason and stronger of the two when it comes to putting the brakes on before the two have intercourse.

In other words Kai wants him bad, but Liam's like─meh. That changes when Liam discovers the joy of great sex. Of course that doesn't happen until he's of legal age.

Hope you enjoy!

Excerpt from:

Handle with Care

© S.N.McKibben
No part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted without written prior permission from the publisher. This is a work of fiction. All characters, names, events, incidents and places are of the author’s imagination and not to be confused with fact. Any resemblance to living persons or events is merely coincidence.

This is a totally unedited chapter. It may or may not stay the same after final edits and it may or may not remain in the story.

If you find any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors, please let know via the comments!! I may not get to them right away, but I will get to them. Thank you!

If you are totally lost & would like to start at the beginning of (working title) HANDLE WITH CARE, click the button below.

Handle with Care Chapter One

Below is an excerpt of (working title) HANDLE WITH CARE
Happy reading!

Chapter 15

“Liam thinks every bit as an adult.” My usual session with Ms. Slate turned into relationship counseling. This was the only place, the only person, I could talk to about Liam. “But his body is still underage.”

“How are you dealing with that?” Jennifer sat behind her desk, glasses on, hair framing her down-turned face as she scribbled in her notebook.

I cleared my throat. “I am dealing with it fine.”

She stopped writing and looked up at me. “Specifically, what are you doing to deal with your attraction.”

It was no use telling her there was no attraction between Liam and I. Jennifer could see through me. “I go to the dojo every night. I take extra cases. Keeping busy helps.”

Jennifer folded her hands and cast me an expectant stare.

On any other day I could wait her out, but lately my calm grated against the inner demon. My patience grew shorter and often. I was becoming sarcastic, haughty, and my temper was easily raised. Every ounce of control was put to the test. Especially when I was around Liam. “It takes everything I have to steer my thoughts clear of any sexual fantasies.”

“When was the last time you had intercourse?”

Some might think her questions intrusive, irrelevant, but I found her direct speech refreshing. She did not mince her words. “Eleven months.”

“And you’ve had no thoughts about Liam?”

“No. None. Not at all.” Liar. I would catch a slip of his skin and desire to touch him. He would talk with his hands and I would imagine how those fingers felt on my torso. The show of ankle and then my mind would wander into a scene where he locked his legs around my hips. But I snapped out of all of them before my imagination ran away too far.

“Kai…” Jennifer sighed. “Liam isn’t six years old. He’s three months from being legal.”

“He is three months, fifteen days, and nine hours from being legal.”

She compressed her lips. “It would be normal to fantasize about the person you like.”

“I will not go down that road.”

“You said yourself he’s an adult…”

“He thinks like an adult. He is still a minor.”

“Are you doing this to prevent another Mori situation?”

I flashed her a scowl.

She did not flinch. “It’s a valid question.”

“What do you think?” I hissed. Then amended, “Of course.”

“Do you think denying yourself will change the way you deal with Liam when you two finally have sex.”

I sucked in a breath. “Can we not talk about this?” Sex and Liam in the same thought was dangerous. Illegal even, despite what Jennifer said.

“How’s work?”

“Fine.”

“Not having any issues with your co-workers?”

“Mr. Puzo thinks I have abused my power.”

She nodded. “He came the other day asking for information about you. I gave him the client privileges act and told him there was nothing he could use from me that would involve your work performance.”

“Thank you.”

Jennifer knew about my past, about me helping Mori put a father in jail so we could get said father’s family to safety. Not everyone got out of harm’s way. Mr. Puzo must have found out about my under-the-radar string pulling.

“Liam invited me to an art competition.” No matter how I tried the conversation always went back to my boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

A title that kept me from losing my mind. At the very least, he was mine.

“Sounds like a date.”

I kept my head down but flicked my eyes over to see her reaction. “Is that, okay? We are not having sex.”

“Yes, Kai. Yes. That’s a good thing.”

Relief flooded my body. “We made an agreement.”

She remained silent. Jennifer never pushed.

“We want monogamy… we go on dates, but there is no sex. No kissing. No touching. But I am his boyfriend, I mean we are going out, a couple. But there…”

“Is no sex. I get it, Kai. I think that’s wonderful.”

“Talking to him is a relief and added pressure.” I smoothed the wrinkles in my slacks and kept my eyes down. “He is an amazing person. He is taking the age of consent seriously. He keeps the physical part out of our relationship. That is why I say he thinks like an adult.” Liam was not lost in his dick. He thought about the consequences. Not just for himself but for me.

“Buuuuut…” Jennifer prompted.

“My own urges are getting harder to resist.”

“You know, Kai, touching someone doesn’t automatically mean sex is on their mind. You can hold hands, or heaven forbid, hug without it meaning anything other than affection. Affection does not mean sex.”

Touching Liam. I shivered. Remembering Saturday’s hug sent a spike of energy up and down my spine. My cock started getting in on the action, an indication I should direct my imagination somewhere else. Like how my father would react to Liam being my boyfriend.

“He massaged my shoulders.”

“Well, there, you see.”

I did not have the heart to tell her I stepped out of his hold before I turned around, stripped naked and had him in my hallway. “We will make due. Four months will pass by quickly.” If I kept saying that, maybe I would believe it.

“True, but I’m a little worried about you.”

“How so?”

“Given that you and your boyfriend are monogamous and not having sex, are you masturbating?”

“What? No!” My body moved on its own. I stood and paced the length of her couch. There was no way I could disguise my abject horror. Did she think me one of those creeps that think about children when having sex?

Jennifer remained stoic. “As I was saying, there is a very large difference between a six-year-old body and a seventeen-year-old body. Don’t get me wrong. The age of consent is eighteen, but considering your past…”

“I am in control.” I sat down, loosening the tension in my jaw. I reined in my temper and straightened my tie. “I am in control. This situation is different.”

“How?”

“There is no touching, no teasing. It’s a shorter wait.”

“Have you talked to him about what will happen when he turns eighteen and you can have sex?”

“Are you asking if he is a virgin?”

“That was not my question.”

“We will talk about that when he is eighteen.” But it occurred to me that Jennifer might have already seen Liam as a patient. Her questions were always pointed. Direct. She was trying to lead me to a series of thoughts.

Jennifer compressed her lips again and waited me out. For what, I wasn’t sure.

“Can we get off the subject of Liam?” Bringing up his name was the very act of talking about him.

Jennifer kept her head down, writing. “We can talk about anything you want.”

But, for all I was worth, I could not think of anything to talk about. The time passed in silence. It was a testament to how Liam touched every aspect of my life. Work reminded me of him. Home reminded me of him. When I went to the dojo I conjured what lesson to teach him. I breathed Liam. Ate Liam. My heart beat drummed syllables to his name. Li-am. Li-am. Li-am. Li-am.

Finally I sighed and hung my head in resignation.

“Kai?”

I raised my head to Jennifer’s soft call.

“How are you sleeping?”

“Not much.” The admittance was painful, but I was no coward to truth. “I try but my erection keeps me awake.”

Silence.

Jennifer’s mouth thinned. Her hands folded. My therapist’s eyes cast down to her desk.

“Say what you want to say.”

“You requested not to.”

“Out with it.”

“What you are doing is unhealthy.”

“My thoughts are what is unhealthy.” I know what she wanted me to do. But masturbation was not an option. “If I release myself I will think of him. Thinking of him while he is still a minor… doing that is sick.”

“Again, he’s not six-years-old.”

“That does not give me license to think of him in that way.”

“And because you are in a relationship, you’re not seeking out companionship to relieve the stress, I take it.”

“That suggestion is just as disgusting.” I would not cheat on Liam. Nor would I ask his permission to have sex with another person. It would not only put him in an awkward choice, it was not an action I wanted to entertain. We agreed. Monogamy. I refused to fail him another time. Liam would have the best of me.

“Couples do what they need to. When it’s not about the sex and they are trying to stay together, sometimes unconventional relationships help keep them together.”

“That is not applicable in this situation.” I was not opposed to unconventional. Hell, in the past, if I shared Mori with his other lovers I would have been all right with that. At least for a while.

“So, we have an impasse.”

“Yes, doctor, we do.”

Jennifer sighed in a I give-up kind of way. “If I prescribe you a sleep formula, will you take it?”

“No pills.”

“It’s not medication, it’s natural. Over the counter items.”

I was still leery. “I will research it.”

She scribbled on a pad and handed me a sheet with a website URL.

“Thank you.” With that, I was done with the session. I stood and walked out of the office ten minutes before my time.

Liam by Cynthia Hlady

Thank you for reading Handle with Care by S.N.McKibben.
Interested in more?

Click below for

The Beginning of the Notice Me Senpai Series

The Beginning of HANDLE WITH CARE

The Next Update of Handle With Care

Want to catch up with the series?

Start with Seducing Sensei, available now at your favorite retailer!

amazon

all other retailers

goodreads

<<Previous

Goodreads Giveaway Redeeming Senpai

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Redeeming Senpai

by S.N. McKibben

What more need be said?
Get on over to the giveaway!!

A Big Step Towards Redeeming Senpai

Work in Progress ♣ Handle With Care (August 2018) Update

Word Count 89K

Handle with Care

Chapter 18

Chapter 20

Want to catch up with the series?

Work in Progress ♣ Handle With Care (July 2018) Update

Word Count 81K

Handle with Care

Chapter 16

Want to catch up with the series?

Work in Progress ♣ Handle with Care (June 2018) Update

Word Count 76K
*This is what the word count is for the book so far. This will be close to a 90K word story.

Handle with Care

Chapter 15

Want to catch up with the series?

Categories

Archives

Goodreads Giveaway Redeeming Senpai

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Redeeming Senpai

by S.N. McKibben

What more need be said? ​Get on over to the giveaway!!

A Big Step Towards Redeeming Senpai

Work in Progress ♣ Handle With Care (August 2018) Update

Word Count 89K

Handle with Care

Chapter 18

Chapter 20

Want to catch up with the series?

Work in Progress ♣ Handle With Care (July 2018) Update

Word Count 81K

Handle with Care

Chapter 16

Want to catch up with the series?

Work in Progress ♣ Handle with Care (June 2018) Update

Word Count 76K*This is what the word count is for the book so far. This will be close to a 90K word story.

Handle with Care

Chapter 15

​Want to catch up with the series?

Categories

Archives

What more need be said?
Get on over to the giveaway!!

Word Count 76K
*This is what the word count is for the book so far. This will be close to a 90K word story.

Want to catch up with the series?