Captain Candy's Starlog, Entry 7

Character Art work by Ana Karenina García Lamas

Chronicles of The Desperate Measures

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This is my record keeping with embellishments of a Star Wars Role Playing Game we played in the year 2020. ​

Cast of Characters

Vidar Starhawk - Jedi General. Human. 
Jaris Marr - Mercenary. Mechanic. Miraluka. 
Candy - Pilot. Gunslinger. Duros. 
Mandragore - Hired Gun. Mandalorian. 
Hell Shepard - Demo Expert. Clone Trooper. 
Jess - Force Wielder. Night Sister. 
​Snidely - ID9 seeker droid.

The Story Behind the Game

We were all into the game and we'd had several sessions with each other by this point. Our GM was just getting started and we were getting into our roles as characters. Any of us that were unsure of our back story now had one after this mission. My back story affected the game as I soft lobbed perfect ideas for our GM to use and incorporate in our sessions. 

One of our party had made a dynamic roll equivalent of a perfect 20 with advantages and triumphs. This also changed the course of the game because the GM had decided that one of the NPC would stay with the group and help them. Her name is Jess, the night sister. She was to be a recurring character, but our Miraluka changed her mind and the rest of the story became something of a tale to remember. It's also how I got the slogan: "Not the people to call when the fate of the universe is in the balance."

​Here's the mission: 
​A shady contact of Candy's gets in touch to see if she and her crew can find a Dr. Twoie on Hoth. There's good money in it for us so we went. 

​What we found were vampire-zombie rats, ghouls, and an important serum that can make a person into some super rakghoul. No thanks. But also, our trooper found a data chip with important schematics that have to do with the entire army of storm troopers. 

See how it all went down below...

Mission: Hoth

During the trip out to Hoth Jaris found himself with a bit of spare time after disguising the rifle to make it fit better with their disguises as well as his work on weapons for Candy and Hell Shepherd. With his helmet cradled under his right arm and a bag of various parts in the other Jaris sat down at the table in the galley/common area of the Desperate Measures and got to work. First up was rigging the wiring and that alone would take some time to get right. It was also tedious work and nothing went with that better than a steaming cup of caf, Jaris humming a low tune to himself as he worked. "This goes here. That goes there. Then this one..." he mumbled as he began his task.

Candy passes the room, stops, walks back to the threshold and watches for a moment. "Ohhhh, what's that?"

Jaris waits until he has pulled another wire through before answering. "I have realized the need to add emotive visuals to my words now that I'm working as part of a group. You all read so much of a person's meaning from the eyes well, figured adding some light panels to my helmet might help get my points across."

Candy nods. "Does your helmet register facial expressions?"

Jaris shakes his head, then gives it some thought, and shakes his head again. "Not yet at least, maybe version 2.0, this one will work by commands I type in onto a wrist mounted keypad. Small, basic, but should get the job done once I preprogram some responses into it. Want a demonstration?" He asks.

"Sure!"

Jaris connects a few of the wires to the screen panels he had laid out on the table to a small keypad. "So let's say Vidar starts force lifting boulders while I'm negotiating peace..." The screens then light up depicting :/

Candy laughs and claps. "If you ask me, I think even the general was surprised he could do that."

"Well that might not have been the best time to discover it. Another example, let's say you're just standing there, things seem to be going well, and then a woman just... oh I don’t know, licks you, taking you by surprise. "The screens then change to show a giant exclamation mark, complete with a soft sound of surprise.

Candy laughs. "Oh goodness. It sings too." Candy ponders then shakes her head. "I'm gonna go scrub my brain out with soap now."

A typing on the keyboard and then the screens depicted a raised eyebrow emote. "Do I want to know where your brain went just now?"

"Oh no you don't. I'll spare you."

Jaris seems satisfied with that for a moment, then pauses, letting out a deep sigh. "Tell me, now I'm curious, even though I know I'll regret it."

Candy snorts. "I was just thinking to myself... about the logistics of using it in bed with someone. Like...” Candy tilts her head, pondering her musings. "Would you take it off? Keep it on? Maybe halfway... I mean if you wanna show facial expressions so your partner knows your pleased..."

Jaris had been in the process of pulling another wire through when she spoke up, the man coughing and sharply tugging the wire so hard to was cut in half on the edges of the hole in the helmet. "What? I mean... uhhhh." A click of a button and the lower section covering the mouth and jaw slid aside. "It already had this mode... As for the helmets displays, I don’t know if I'd have the focus to operate the keypad at the same time as all... of that."

Candy starts laughing. "As I said, I'll wash my brain out with soap. It's not my problem to solve." Candy leaves doing her rounds on checking on the ship.

Jess meets candy as she rounds the corner. She is leaning against the wall smiling. "You might break him you know." She says quietly enough to not be heard by Jaris.

Candy hums, it's a pensive sound. "He is very kind. I worry about him. I don't want him hurt, but maybe a little toughing up might do him some good."

Jess nods. "A little tougher. A little rougher." She smirks a bit. "Perhaps I am too rough on him as well.”

Candy laughs. "I think he likes your rough and tumble."

"I think he thinks I am in need of protection," she sighs. "I try and show dominance but that seems to make him more protective. I am not used to persistent males who do not try and fight but use words instead."

"Not all males need to be dominate, but most are protective. Consider it a compliment. As long as he isn't trying to change you, then let him feel useful. Everyone needs that." Candy smiles

Jess hesitates. "He.... has given me trust. But still wishes to make choices for me. What do you do with that?"

Candy growls, it's a noise between a lizards hiss and a gurgle. "He forces his will? Or do you feel obligated?"

Jess senses the temperament change. "No, no. Nothing that bad. It's that protection again. He wishes me to be safe and I do, what to him seem dangerous things. He has said if it goes to far he will step in. I am sure he thinks the worst is over, but If I stay.... It will only get harder for him to not interfere." she looks pensive and worried she has said too much but she forces a smile. "You have a way of getting people to talk don't you?"

Candy laughs. "I just listen." She shrugs. "Ah, men. It is because they are kind. They are selfish in that way. Unable to cope with watching others get hurt, they would rather suffer in their bodies than their minds."

Jess thinks on this for a moment. "I may not be able to allow him to interfere. If the time comes" She looks a little sad, but a veneer of resolve washes over her features. "I will do what I must. Thank you for your insight Captain." Jess wonders off to find food.

Captain Candy’s Starlog 5:

Inside the cockpit of Desperate Measures, Snidely and Reaper prepare the ship for a fast getaway, if needed.

“Snidely, Snidely, do you read?” Interference cuts out Candy’s raspy voice.

Snidely angles his head for better reception. “Beep. Boop. Boop?”

“What? No. Why would I take you into this frozen hell?” Candy’s words come in a clearer.

Blaster fire crackles the speakers. Pew. Pew.

“Beep! Beep!” Snidely lifts off of Reapers dome head.

“Yeah, I hate Hoth. Tell the other Travelers to stay the fuck away from this place.”

“Beeewwww.” Snidely floats towards the cockpit door.

“Roooooaaaaarrrrr.” Blam. Blam. Nails scrabble against metal.

“Bewp?”

“Rakghoul. Listen, Snidely, I need you to record okay?”

“Beep. Beep.”

“Great, thanks.” Boots stomp in an even running pace. Blam… blam… A lightsaber swishes. An inhuman screech echoes.

“This is the last will and testament of Traveler Candy Thorn, Captain of Desperate Measures.”

“BEEP! BEEP! BOP!” At the same time Vidar’s voice echoes from a distance, “No need for that. We’ll get through this.” A lightsaber hums, then crackles.

“How do you know?” Jess quips.

“No Snidely, shush. You’re not going anywhere.” Crash. Thud. “Roaaaarrrr…”

“I name Snidely, my ID9 seeker droid as executer.”

BOOM.

“Zzzzzbbbbht?” Snidely spins in distress.

“That’s just Vidar. Back to my worldly possessions. I know the General isn’t into material objects so, I leave him knowledge. My star charts.”

“Bewup?” Snidely halts, stunned.

“Yes, even the unknowns. Someone has to know about our genius, right Snide?”

“That is… generous of you.” Vidar’s voice accompanies a hum.

“Beep. Beep.” Snidely floats into Candy’s quarters, checking for said star charts.

“Hell Shepard gets my guns.”

“Sweet.” Hell Shepard’s voice is a thin wisp.

“Bep.” Snidely’s head spins in a 360.

“Give Jaris the two alien vids…” Nails click coming from the receiver make the speakers crackle.

“Phhht beeep?”

From a distance Jaris says, “You know I’m blind, right?”

Candy speaks into the microphone. “No, not those, Snide, what does he want with family vids? Give him the porn ones.”

“What?” Jaris’ voice is closer. “Ummm… that… that is everything wrong.”

Candy’s voice echoes away from the microphone. “Just have Jess describe it. Consider it matrimonial material.”

Candy’s voice come more clear through the speaker. “To Jess I leave five hundred credits. I hope she finds her way to being Mother.”

“Bep. Bep.” Snidely touches a panel and checks records.

“Can’t make it too much or she’ll kill me just for the money.” Candy’s laugh comes through, breaking up signal

“To Easy…”

“Bep?”

“You know, Easy, the Mandalorian.”

Hell Shepards garbled instructions crackle in the background. It sounds like run, run, run. Feet scramble on metal.*

“Boop. Boop.”

“Get Easy every color spray paint and tell him… tell him, sorry kid, I was hoping you could find a family with us.”

“I think he can hear you.” Vidar pants from a distance.

“Bep.”

“I leave everything else to mom. If she wants to take the debt of the ship and transfer the letter of mark to her, I’d allow it. You know the details, Snide. Got it?”

Blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam… blam. Blam. A lightsaber hums. “Raaawwwrrrrr.”

“And Snide, I’m sorry we couldn’t find Whiplash and Bunny. I’m leaving you a thousand credits to bribe, book safe passage, replace parts, oil baths, whatever. If you wanna go find them on your own, you’re free to do so. If you’re looking for someone else to bother find Traveler Cad Bane. Tell him Candy sent you. Oh, and maybe if you wanna tell the troopers that were left in the ship to come join us, that be great. Tell them we took the back entrance and went down the straight tunnel and there’s only two guards outside. Tell, bring the biggest fucking gun they got. Hopefully they’ll come across some Wampas and kill ‘em all.”

~ End Transmission ~

“Beep. Beep.” Snidely rushes out of Candy’s room and thrashes his mechanical arms onto one of the troopers doors.

Captain Candy’s Starlog 6:

So, my… friend tells me about this XR12 serum that’s an experimental super stim pack. Yeah.

Just wait, it gets better.

This Dr. Twoie has the serum and there’s an inside guy that’s going to get us to the good doctor so we can do what I do best—smuggle things. Only this time you wouldn’t think I was a bad ass gunner but a hand maiden for a Coruscant dignitary—or one of his paramour’s. Same thing, I guess. 
​
Anyway, the place we must go is a penitentiary.

Just wait, it gets better.

He gives us three guard outfits and three prisoner jumpsuits and says if we aren’t successful it’s his life.
Seriously, like he hasn’t already given me scars. But it was “a lot” of credits. So, why not.

Dr. Twoie turns out to be a jerk face Rakghoul experimenter unwilling to give mercy to his subjects. Should have looked further into the databanks about what was going on but as I was knocked prone by some fucking Wampas, my head wasn’t all that in the game.

Which, the Wampas were before we found out about the RATGHOUL infestation at the penitentiary AKA medical rakghoul experimentation facility.

None of the team were playing nice. My aim sucked and Jess got hurt. Good thing she’s a tough gal. Easy started flaming everything in sight—including the General. But, again, good thing he’s a freaking sorcerer. Cooked ratghoul doesn’t smell better than freshly dead ratghoul. Or overly dead and in pieces ratghoul—thank you very much, Hell Shepard.

Then we find Beefcake and Beefpie, two of the mother of all rakghouls.

Stim pack my ass.

Just wait, it gets better.

Two assholes come outta nowhere and ask us if we want to join the rakghoul nation.

Nope.

Time to go.

Hell Shepard did what he does best and set charges on that thing before anyone could say clone trooper.

Here’s the best part…

Everyone but Jaris threw up on the elevator ride to the surface.

Awesome.

Space faring pilot right here tosses her cookies because of some G forces.

There is one good thing that came from all of this. Even if we don’t know what to do with the virus, who to give it to, or who not to give it to, who took what and who argued over which serum to bring… Jess has my back.

​That’s worth something in my book.

This session was rough. My character got knocked out. The party took on a little too much, but we came through. And it set the teams path for the adventures to come. 

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Until next time...
...happy reading! 

​~ Stephy