My Significant only, DW, & Momma-san were supposed to leave all the bitterness of a family lifetime saga and leave for Washington. I was going to help corral them both into a place we all loved.
Our trio has been downgraded to a duo for the sole reason that Mama-san died of liver cancer. It was not sudden, we had a year with her after diagnosis, but...I had hoped we would at least get there with her...and of course irrationally hoped she would be a "Heidi" case and get better.
The plans we had would've included chickens, goats, horses our dogs, cats and fish. A home. Hope. The dream is not gone, but severely diminished the joy in achieving such goal.
I can honestly tell you, without a doubt, those with a detached love-style do not love less.
The secure love style and the attached-love style people around me cried much, much less. No, detacher's don't love less, or more, they cauterize before something like this ever happens to them. Or maybe we lose more of the limb before it's taken. Because when loss happens to a detacher the not-so-chosen survival trait sucks. You want to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. So far as to tell your lover he may not die-ever.
Yes, detacher's are as irrational as any other love-trait.
So I can attest, your detached love-style-other may protect themselves as best they can by detachment, but the reality is they feel. Perhaps more so than others--but that too is debatable.